I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
