i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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