I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
