I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
