well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
