i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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