no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
