Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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