I think I am morally bankrupt
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
