yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
