I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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