Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
