So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
