This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I cockslap morals
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
