An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
