Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
