I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
