im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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