He is an equal opportunity slut.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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