I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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