The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
