i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
