that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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