he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
