me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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