Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
