did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
