dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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