did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
