i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize