I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
