Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Randomize
