Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize