I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
