i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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