Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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