I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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