well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
