I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
