the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
That accounts for only three of the penises
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
