Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
