I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We need to get me chipped asap
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
