Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she peed on how many people?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
