her vagine was all disorganized.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
