found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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