id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize