O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
