thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
