I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize