dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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