Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
