five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
even my farts smell like vagina
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
