What a fucking waste of an outfit
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
