I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
