They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
