We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I queefed so loud it echoed.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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