do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize