You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
