Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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