I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
