I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
