i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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