Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
