are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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