so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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