those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
