i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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